Several days ago, i attended a ceremony of new students orientation in my previous faculty, faculty of social and political sciences. One of the agendas  was awarding the contributing students. They invited me because i was one of the awardee. I was quite surprised because they still counted me in. I thought because i have recently graduated, whatever award i should take became void for i am no longer a student there. However i  decided to come a second i got the notification because last year i got a chance to be on the list but i missed it due to last-minute notification. Now i want to feel the ambiance of the ceremony, not as a new students but as their elder brother who just sit from a far.

The execution of the ceremony got much better every year. The content was significantly nourishing. They summoned Mayor of Kota Bandung Dada Rosada and  Deputy Chief of Police of the Republic of Indonesia Nanan Soekarno to give open lectures. They also ran the agenda very well: neat, straight, and punctual. And i felt the student's enthusiasm too through their strong yell whenever asked. It's rarely happened moreover because it happened on a fasting month, Ramadhan. I thought they had been extremely tired, sleepy, or bored but i was all wrong.

an icebreaking

Some seniors yelling had shattered me from recalling my memories. And also some students who looked pale and tired and some who were yawning and fooling around with their friends. No, they were not yelling because of anger. They just wanted to entertain. They were the committee assigned to break the ice. Their yell got students' attention. Mine also. They periodically threw a game to melt the ice. And it was quite simple and classic. They randomly picked out three students and then they played interviewing like in a show. I took a look seriously. These conversation i already sum up:

First student, 
committee: what's your name? 
Budi: (let's call him) Budi. 
Committee: where do you come from?
Budi: Kuningan.
commitee: what major are you going to study?
Budi: Business Administration.
commitee: why did you choose that?
Budi: Because i wanted to succeed.
Then everybody laughed. I did not understand why they laughed. Everybody wants to succeed, right?
but it is almost impossible to attain. Yeah, maybe it is an irony.
committee: what succeed?
Budi: Well, i wanted to have an early pension time.
Everybody laughed again. But i still don't get it why everyone laughed as if they mocked him.

Second student,
commitee: what's your name?
Popmi: (let's call her) Popmi (because her name is really rhymed with popmie)
Committee: what an unique name. Where do you come from popmi?
Popmi: South East Sulawesi.
Commitee: what department are you in?
Popmi: International relations.
Committee: why?
Popmi: I want to become a diplomat to strengthen Indonesia's position in the eye of international society.
Then everybody applauded and her friends shouted yes at her.

Last student,
Commitee: what's your name?
Andi: (let's call him) Andi. 
Committee: where do you come from?
Andi: Jakarta
Committee: you are student of ?
Andi: Social Welfare
Committee: why did you choose that?
Andi: I want to be the agent of change.
Everybody applauded and hailed his name.

I shivered. I suddenly remembered some friends that uttered same kind of hopes and dreams but ended working in cigar company and a sugar multinational corporation. Previously, one told me that he wanted to sit in DPR and the other one told me wanted to work in some INGOs. Then, i began to remember my purpose to came here five years ago. I had no purposes at all. I went to college because my parents told me so. But hey, i don't ever regret going to college.

The situation had given me time to remember what it feels to sit there five years ago, more or less. To be honest, i don't have so much to remember because i had no intention to go to college at the very first place. That's why the memory of the ceremony got kinda blurry in my head. I was not excited. Then, i was asking myself, at that time, do i feel that my choice is right? because when i entered this building five years ago, i was cursing all along. I felt misplaced to take part in department of International Relations which is apparently located in Jatinangor, a so far away suburban that broke me up from my friends who made my days far from exhausting and strangling. I can see the same feeling curved in some students' faces. I don't belong here. Don't worry we are in the same boat.

Somehow at our first day in college, we bring dreams and hopes. We are devoted to pursue our noble objectives. We are fed up with those bullshits on tv and trying to fix it up like Budi, Popmi, and Andi. They have instilled themselves with great values. Or maybe they just did some lip service trick? i don't really know but let's assume they were saying the truth. But for someone who was purposeless, i came out with a message.

I just wanted to say to them that your struggle starts when you stepped in this college building. The structure or the system will test your will. Either it's only whim or a strong trim. You'll experience that everyone, who call themselves educators, is not all real educators. They will let you down. They will destroy your dreams. They will not let you win. Most of them will teach you how to deal with deadlines rather than how to make yourself shine. But don't worry, wisemen say that experience is the best teacher. You can stick to that. Don't be trapped by those strangling rules, go find a great adventure while you're on college. Your life is not a mere academic vessel. It's also consisting of empirical experiments. Travel, backpack, go somewhere distant to attain it. The things you can't get on the textual books.

You'll learn that grade is important and sometimes some people get it good in some unfair way. No one cares how you get it. And if you keep standing up your idealism, you'll be put aside and your jealousy will start creaking. Don't give up. Study harder. Those who only go to school just to get a bachelor scroll don't deserve your jealousy. Even though grade is undeniably required but you have to notice that the process is the most important thing. Do some mistakes and learn from them so that in the future you'll know that it is indeed a mistake and you will avoid making it again.

Sometimes, you'll feel a great solitude since everyone's jaded. Friendship doesn't taste sweet any longer and you probably feel suffocated. But don't give up. Don't let take you down. You'll one day find those who really care about you that's why you have to keep yourself open to people, to let you know who is sincere and who is not. You will feel fallen so endlessly but it guides you to the people who appreciate who you truly are.

So, make your day easy, be happy, think out of the box, and keep your faith. If your dreams are actually unbroken, you will materialize your dreams once you graduate.

All these words i have been trying to say can be concluded into one word:

Carpe Diem