Solitude #16


You stayed in the darkest corner of my mind and kept whispering things i wasn't familiar with. I tried to seek for the switch but i found nothing. I tried to make light but i failed. I wept in the silence.

Then i started to doubt you staying there. Maybe you were just the manifestation of my anxiety.  Maybe you already emerged with darkness perfectly. You were never there for the very first time. I hugged my knees.

No one cared. 
It worked.

World turned upside down. Every morning i drank bottles of sunshine. Every night i ate plates of moonlight. Every day i danced with happiness. Every tranquility i filled with sleeping on pillows full of rainbows, blanketed with wonderful fireflies. Life seemed flawless. I felt life alluring its great fervor. 

I was tantalized.

I grabbed a crystal jar to put it in there so i could look at it again and again eternally. But it was full of remainder of broken hearts. I swallowed it all till empty.

This was how it felt to hide in your shade. How comfortable it was. How soothing it was. How endearing it was. In the end i could see you here appearing gradually. I could feel you here unveiling yourself from . obscuring reality. I was wondering. What.

Then, i began to vanish.

Oh i knew!
I was smitten to death.

Cimahi - December 2012